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一份令老板晕倒的求职简历

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发表于 2007-5-8 07:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">面试人员给两位前来应征的男士一张求职简历</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">……</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">主考官看完第一位填好的简历半天没说话,董事长差点就呕吐了。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">他是这样填写的:</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  姓名:英文的还是中文的?</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  年龄:这是私人问题。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  身高:这跟工作有关系么。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  体重:随时改变,饭前饭后都不同。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  居住地:那是一个特别的地方,我生命的舞台。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  电话:爱立信手机。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  电子邮件:只留给漂亮和富有的女孩。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  上班时间:越短越好。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  应征职位:找一个不做什么实事,但能被美女包围的职位。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  学历:毕业于一个你找不着的大学。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  语言能力:侃大山是专长。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  兴趣:睡得天昏地暗。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  生日:<chsdate wst="on" isrocdate="False" islunardate="True" day="24" month="2" year="2007">正月初七</chsdate></span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  经历:游戏人生。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  曾任职位:高级的或者低级的都是一种经历。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  婚姻状况:我正在寻找漂亮又富有的女孩,希望在你们公司能找到。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  未来期望:只负责主席台讲话,并且希望尽早退休。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  希望待遇:比实际工作量拿得多就行。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p>
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 楼主| 发表于 2007-5-8 07:02 | 显示全部楼层
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">接着,他们再看第二位应征者时,主考官眼冒金花,董事长更当场晕倒。</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  姓名:父母取的</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  年龄:不小了</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  身高:很高</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  体重:中等</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  居住地:家里</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  电话:在身上</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  电子邮件:朋友帮我申请的</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  上班时间:</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">8</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">小时</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  应征职位:一位</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  学历:如果毕业的话有高中学历</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  语言能力:有</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  兴趣:很多</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  生日:还没到吧!</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  经历:刚来的时候摔了一跟头!</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  曾任职位:小学时当过少先队小队长喔!</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  婚姻状况:父母已结婚</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  未来期望:再找好工作</span><font face="Times New Roman">
                </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">  希望待遇:希望大家都很疼我</span></p>
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发表于 2007-5-8 07:18 | 显示全部楼层
maio!妙,哈!哈![em01][em01][em01][em01]
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发表于 2007-5-9 22:46 | 显示全部楼层
<font face="楷体_GB2312" size="3">建议大家看胡教授的贴子时,注意一下胡教授的头像,这样会更显有趣</font>[em01][em01][em01][em01]
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发表于 2007-5-10 04:44 | 显示全部楼层
<img src="attachments/dvbbs/2007-5/20075920442180130.gif" border="0" onload="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.alt=\'Click here to open new window\nCTRL+Mouse wheel to zoom in/out\';}" onmouseover="if(this.width>screen.width*0.7) {this.resized=true; this.width=screen.width*0.7; this.style.cursor=\'hand\'; this.alt=\'Click here to open new window\nCTRL+Mouse wheel to zoom in/out\';}" onclick="if(!this.resized) {return true;} else {window.open(\'attachments/dvbbs/2007-5/20075920442180130.gif\');}" onmousewheel="return imgzoom(this);" alt="" /><br/>
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发表于 2007-5-10 07:56 | 显示全部楼层
确实...............[em17]
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发表于 2009-6-10 16:30 | 显示全部楼层
哈哈,我们的领头人真够有趣!
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发表于 2009-6-11 16:49 | 显示全部楼层
真幽默。:lol
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发表于 2009-6-11 18:10 | 显示全部楼层
1# icchina
证明了一句话,就是看问题,理解问题“没有两个人是一样的”
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发表于 2009-6-11 20:35 | 显示全部楼层
教授很幽默啊
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发表于 2009-6-12 08:11 | 显示全部楼层
哈哈!应征者戆的聪明啊!!
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发表于 2009-6-12 09:03 | 显示全部楼层
{:2_214:}{:2_214:}{:2_214:}
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发表于 2009-6-12 15:20 | 显示全部楼层
胡教授太有风趣了:lol:lol
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发表于 2009-6-12 15:47 | 显示全部楼层
;P;P太幽默啦
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发表于 2009-7-17 16:56 | 显示全部楼层
呵呵呵呵,太有趣了
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